I want to make a zoo with you.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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