Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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