I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
