Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
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