Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
