I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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