that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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