Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
