I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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