It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
