I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
