The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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