The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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