now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Randomize
