so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
