Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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