Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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