there was a trapeze. enough said
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
