When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
