"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
