what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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