What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Randomize
