after a month anything with tits is on the radar
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
