WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
