We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
