I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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