I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
