I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
