so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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