We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
