R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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