Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
