He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
