i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
