but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
