fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
You took a bar mat shot.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
