There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
