You work out of a Hotel?
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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