Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
