I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
