I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
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