ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
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