i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
My feet surprised me
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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