party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
