I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
