i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
