i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
