If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
