Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
