I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
