I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
